


Guido Mista tries to be romantic and ends up with a boner instead

by liighty



Series: liighty's Trash OCs x Various Media Characters [1]
Category: liighty's ocs idk, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Titles, If this does well I might publish another idk, My OCs x Various Jojo Characters ig, Original Character(s), Parental Bruno Buccellati, Speech Disorders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28899090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liighty/pseuds/liighty
Summary: I was chatting with a pal about a Discord RP server I own, and uh... one thing led to another, and now I have random ships with my OCs and various Jojo Characters. This one kinda made me get a serotonin boost, so B))-------------------In which Guido Mista falls HARD for a girl with selective mutism, Narancia reminds him to brush his teeth, and an awkward 'phone call' takes place in the men's bathroom #iykyk-------------------
Relationships: Bruno Buccellati & Passione Members (JoJo), Guido Mista/Original Character(s), Leone Abbacchio/Bruno Buccellati, Pannacotta Fugo & Narancia Ghirga & Guido Mista, if you squint
Series: liighty's Trash OCs x Various Media Characters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119413
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Guido Mista tries to be romantic and ends up with a boner instead

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHH I don't think anybody's gonna read this but if you do and you wanna read more lmk!!!! I have some other pairings that are pretty cool imo idk

The young woman standing at the edge of the club was the first and only to catch Guido's eye. The dress she had chosen to wear complimented her curves perfectly, and the small crescent shaped locket around her neck accented the scarlet of said dress in a way that had him drawn towards her like a magnet. Her little red bow and glasses added to her intrigue, though he wasn't quite sure why.

Her analytical stare, however, was the only thing stopping him in his tracks. She knew he was looking at her, and she probably knew why. She didn't look like the kind of person to hurt him if he got too frisky, but he wasn't even planning on doing so, so there's no point in NOT being near her, right

He makes the first move. "Such a beautiful rose like yourself shouldn't be stuck to the wall, mi amore-"

"..." She arches a brow, her gaze only growing colder.

_This is gonna be a challenge, huh? Awesome._ He grins at her silence, leaning against the wall.

Her gaze flickers up and down Guido's figure, and Guido's not all that sure if she's checking him out or analyzing him.

Extending a hand for a handshake, Guido clicks his tongue, still grinning cockily. "The name's Guido. Guido Mista."

"..."

_Tough crowd. Holy shit-_ "It's alright, take your time." He's not quite sure if this was a good thing to say, since it seems she's simultaneously lowered her walls and brought them up. "Is this your first time at a party like this? I'm pretty sure I would've noticed you if you had been here before."

She stays silent, and she'll stay that way for the next dozens of times they'll meet. But...

Guido is persistent.

She eventually starts to be worn down by Guido's charm and patience, but if anything, that scares her further. Three weeks after their original interaction, Molly sits at the cafe, remaining dead silent.

"Hey! Over here!!" He waves at the young woman, whose name he hasn't quite picked up yet, but he's getting there. "How's it going, Stellina??" He had picked the nickname after comparing her beauty to a star during one of their many one sided conversations. It was almost as if the woman he had been trying to woo couldn't communicate back to him, but that couldn't be the case. She had no problem ordering food earlier that day with the waiter, so why shouldn't she be able to talk to him?

Nonetheless, she had a somewhat positive reaction to him calling her this the first time, so it just kinda stuck.

"Hi, Guido-"

Her voice is quiet, but one of an angel's. It might be because he's worked so hard to get her to talk to him, but god fuck... She said his name. She spoke to him. He's so shocked he almost forgets to respond. "H-hello! You uh- Hey!"

She smiles softly, causing Guido to stagger backwards yet again. After glancing at him for a little bit longer, she stirs her coffee cup again.

_She's probably not gonna say anything for a while but- Holy shit-_ Guido feels as if his chest is going to explode. _What the hell is going on..?_

A few more weeks pass, and Molly continues to open up slowly but surely. Soon their conversations actually become... conversations. Not that they weren't before, but Molly's actually responding this time.

"Stellina, are you free tonight?" Guido slips into the seat across from her, resting his chin on his folded hands.

"Um... I might be- Why..?" Her response is quiet, as always, but Guido isn't complaining.

"I wanted to show you something, heh- But only if you're free."

"..."

He almost panics, but her tiny little smile is enough to keep him somewhat relaxed. "It's kind of a surprise, but ya know- Dinner, a walk around the streets of Italy-"

Molly stays silent for a while, her gaze fixated on her coffee cup. After a few seconds, she finally responds. "I'd love that, Guido."

His stupid grin remains plastered on his face for the rest of the day.

* * *

Leon Abbacchio is seated in one of the lounge chairs of the apartment complex in which Passione had been stationed. He takes a sip of his tea, looking Guido up and down twice before commenting, "What's with the grin, huh?"

"Mista scored a hot date with that chick from the cafe!!!" Looking up from his homework, Narancia Ghirga smirks mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows in an attempt to really sell the point home. An exasperated Pannacotta Fugo smacks Narancia's head gently with the paperback notebook he had been holding earlier. "Owww-"

"Oh? I'm glad things are going well between the two of you, Guido." Smiling knowingly, Bruno Bucciarati takes a seat next to Leon, folding his hands in his lap.

"Shut up! We're just hanging out, it's nothing special-" Guido can feel the heat rise to his ears.

This prompts a frustrated glare to come from Fugo's direction as he stands up to face Guido. "Mista. You've spent the past three months trying to figure out her NAME. Your emotional investment is too much for this not to be considered a date."

Any distractions from the times table are welcome in Narancia's eyes, so he quickly also stands up. "Speaking of which, did you find out her name yet?

"....Not yet, but- Tonight's the night! I just know it!"

Sighing, Bruno looks over at Guido with a sentimental smile. "Ah, young love. Don't do anything stupid, Guido."

"I won't! The last thing I want is to make a complete fool of myself in front of her-" He pauses, then quickly adds, "AND I'M NOT IN LOVE!"

Leon snickers. "Pfft- You fell HARD."

"DID NOT!!"

"You might want to consider taking a shower before your date." Fugo sits back down with a smirk.

"YEAH!!! And brush your teeth!" Narancia also chimes in, not wanting to feel left out.

"WH- I BRUSH MY TEETH NORMALLY, WHAT THE HELL?!"

Now it's Bruno's turn to stand up. "Everyone, lay off him for a while. Guido's just a little nervous before his date, that's all."

"Not a date."

"Riiiiight."

He grumbles some curse words under his breath and walks up the stairs to follow Fugo and Narancia's advice. (Man brushes his teeth twice just for good measure.)

Eventually, it's time.

She shows up in the same dress Guido had seen her in the first time they had met. In the pale moonlight, she looks even more angelic.

Guido hopes his boner isn't visible.

Molly waves, looking Guido up and down again in the same analytical fashion as before.

_Shit shit shit- Come on, Guido, think of a distraction-_ "You look great, Stellina!"

"...Thanks. You too."

His stupid little grin only grows at the comment, and when Molly walks a little closer, something else grows as well.

_Get yourself together, little dude- Come on, don't ruin this for me-_

"Everything okay..?" Guido thinks she's playing dumb, and the fact that she probably knows what's wrong is enough to make the situation down there worse.

"Yeah! Yeah uh- Actually, gimme a sec- I gotta um... text a friend real quick. It's important."

"Oh... alright-"

He SPEEDS over to the bathroom and attempts to take care of the mini crisis happening in his pants as quickly as possible. To Guido’s surprise, she’s still here by the time he gets back.

“Thanks for waiting, I um- That was a long phone call!”

She arches a brow. “Right. Did you at least wash your hands?”

He can feel the blood rush up to his ears again. “Why would I have to- Oh. Um- Yes.” His suspicions of her having an idea as to what had just happened are confirmed, and now he wants to completely disappear.

Molly, however, shows no sign of judgement in her gaze or tone. “Mm. What exactly did you want to show me again...?”

“Oh, uh- Come here!” He reaches to grab her hand and is definitely surprised when she doesn’t pull it back or retreat. “Um... Is it okay if I-“

She gives Guido a curt nod, staring off to the side.

_Nice._

There's an awkward silence for a while as Guido reaches to grab Molly's hand, but...

As he gets closer, she ends up making the first move.

Molly's smaller digits wrap around Guido's rough hands, holding on as gently as possible. Guido is pretty sure he's going to die from cardiac arrest at any minute. "Eheheh- Your hands are so soft, Stellina-"

She smiles a bit more, scratching the back of her head with her free hand.

"Anyways, let's get going! There's this one spot near the river that I really want you to see-"

Giving Guido another curt nod, Molly follows the taller man to the riverbank.

The stars reflect onto the water, causing the river to sparkle under the moonlight. Guido's gaze remains fixated on Molly as she leans over the railing to get a better look. The gentle ripple of the water from the ambient wildlife living in it stirs Molly's reflection, but it doesn't really matter to her. She reaches downward and gently brushes her finger against the water, causing the ripples to grow in size and frequency. She smiles softly, and Guido is unable to stop himself from smiling as well.

_Shit._ He thinks to himself, _Bruno might be right._

"Wow..." The excited glimmer in her eyes is enough to send his heart backflipping.

"Stellina... I wanted to show you this because-" He grins and steps forward, brushing his thumb against hers. "Your beauty is so much more enchanting than the river's."

"...Thank you-" She looks up at him, still peacefully smiling. "It means a lot."

"Heh- I'm glad it does! You mean a lot to me, Stellina. Even though I don't know your name yet, I- Well, how do I put this..?"

"...My name's Molly."

"H-huh?" He stops, somewhat in shock. Molly. That's an English name. Her Italian was so fluent, he never would have guessed, though it's not like he's bothered by it. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman, no?

She nods. "That's my name. But... I like Stellina better. It's prettier."

This further confuses him. "But- Molly's such a pretty name! What do you mean?!"

"Maybe it's because you call me that-" She shrugs.

"Wh- Really? H-heh-" _Is this what it feels like to ascend to heaven? I've been blessed by the presence of a beautiful angel- This is why I've felt so fluttery- I think I'm dying-_

"Mhm-"

Molly stands a little closer to Guido, still looking up at him. His eyes flicker downwards to her lips, and a large lump forms in the back of his throat. Just a little closer and...

"Guido...?" Her quiet tone is enough to snap him out of whatever trance she had caught him in earlier.

"What's up, Stellina?" _Play it cool._

"It's getting late."

"R-right. Do you want me to walk you home?"

After glancing around the area a couple of times, Molly nods. "If you don't mind-"

"I don't mind at all! Come on, Molly- Let's go." Being able to say her name is enough to cause his chest to warm up again.

"Alright."

The walk home to her apartment is filled with one sided chatter on Guido's end, though it's not unwelcome. Still hand in hand with Guido, Molly hums contently, almost as if the two were a happy couple strolling down the street after a date.

But... that wasn't the case.

Right?

After a while, they finally arrive in front of the small apartment complex. "This is your place?" Guido tilts his head and points to the door.

"Mhm." Her response, like always, is short and straight to the point. She unlocks the door and opens it, waiting for Guido to step inside.

"Err- Thanks-" The apartment itself isn't too small. In fact, it's actually quite cozy. Molly reaches to put her stuff away and looks up at Guido, head tilted once again.

"Thank you."

"H-huh? No need to thank me! I'm glad you had a good-" He's cut off by her arms wrapping around his waist. The hug is a little awkward at first, especially considering Guido isn't expecting it at all, but eventually he gets his shit together and hugs her back, pulling her a little closer. At this point, her face has been buried in his chest. Not that he's complaining. But... he also notices that she's shaking.

"S-stellina? Molly? Everything okay there?"

Eventually she pulls away and rubs her eyes with the bottom of her palms, nodding shakily. "M-mhm-"

Guido is now convinced he did something wrong. "Did something happen? I'm sorry if I made you-"

"No, nothing happened-" She looks up again, smiling softly. "You're just so nice to me, that's all-"

"Of course I'm nice to you! You deserve the- Well, it's only natural to be nice to the- I-" _What am I saying? I sound so fucking stupid-_

"Do you wanna... stay for a little while longer?"

_Is she asking what I think she's asking? No way. Don't get ahead of yourself, Guido. "Do you want me to?"_

She nods. "It gets lonely in here sometimes."

"O-oh. Um, yeah! I can stay for as long as you need me to-" He starts to feel some tightening in his pants and resists the urge to grumble. "I just gotta use the bathroom again-"

"Um- Alright-" She directs him to the bathroom and leaves when he closes the door, allowing him to get to business for the second time that night. After cleaning up, he grabs his phone to quickly text the gang about the situation.

> **BRUNO BUCCIARATI** : Mista? You haven't come home yet. Is everything alright?
> 
> **narancia!!!!!!!!!!!!!** : hes probably busy rn bruno ;P
> 
> **Fugo** : Narancia, go back to bed.
> 
> **Sexy Pistols** : I'm at Molly's place rn lol no need to worry
> 
> **BRUNO BUCCIARATI** : Molly?
> 
> **narancia!!!!!!!!!!!!!** : u found out her name?? awesome B)
> 
> **Sexy Pistols** : Not sure when I'm coming back
> 
> **Sexy Pistols** : also stfu narancia i'll punt you when i get home
> 
> **narancia!!!!!!!!!!!!!** : xd
> 
> **Fugo** : Use protection.
> 
> **Sexy Pistols** : Fuck you

He puts his phone away and stares at his reflection in the mirror. Without his hat, he feels pretty insecure, but considering Molly hasn't said anything to poke fun at his buzz cut, he doesn't think it looks all that bad. After washing his hands and adjusting his tie, he finally exits the bathroom. After a few minutes, he finally finds his way to the living room, where Molly is sitting on the couch. She's reading something on her phone. "Sorry that took so long, I had to let my roommates know where I was-"

"You have roommates?"

"Uh- Yeah. A bunch of 'em, actually. They're all pretty loud though." He plops onto the couch next to Molly, sitting close, but not too close. "What about you?"

"I live alone. Loud people make me nervous." Fidgeting with her wrists, she looks at the wall.

"I'm loud." Guido grins a bit as he moves his face closer to Molly's. "Do I make you nervous?" 

He was not expecting her to nod in response.

"Wh- Really? Shit, I don't mean to-" Panic mode starts to kick in, but she doesn't look mad in the slightest. 

"It's not a bad nervous, silly. I just... I don't know." She frowns, looking at the wall. "Sometimes I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing and mess things up. So I let you do all the talking instead." After a bit, her frown slowly turns into a smirk. "And you talk a lot, so-"

"Well, I don't think you'd mess anything up by talking, Stellina. And uh- I'd know. Like you said, I talk a lot. Maybe a little too much, heh-" 

"I like hearing you talk." Yawning, Molly rests her head on Guido's shoulder. "It's nice."

Guido's heart skips a beat at the touch and comment. "Well, uh- You're a great listener. It's easy to talk to you, Molly."

"Mm... I guess so-" Guido quickly recognizes that she's starting to fall asleep and leans back further on the couch.

" _Buona notte_ , Molly." The gentle rise and fall of her chest further solidifies his hunch that she's out for the count, so Guido presses a quick kiss on the top of her head before slowly drifting off himself.

* * *

"Narancia... get off me-" Guido sluggishly cranes his neck upwards, expecting to see the young raven haired boy sprawled all over him like always. Instead, he sees Molly curled up on his chest, glasses and hairbow completely askew. She's still dressed. So is he. 

_Thank god._

She stirs a little in her sleep and clutches the side of his vest, prompting yet another smile from Guido's lips. _She's so cute-_ Brushing some of her hair to the side of her face and feeling how soft her cheek was compared to his own fingers, Guido gets that warm feeling in his chest again, and this time, he's certainly not uncomfortable. He starts to recognize that Bruno was right, in fact, he was right all along. Guido was just too stubborn to realize it, but now that he has, he's not sure what to do next.

Eventually her eyes flutter open, and her gaze travels up to Guido's face. Her stare isn't as cold and analytical as it usually is, this time much softer. Guido feels as if he'll melt any minute now.

"Good morning, Stellina."

"...Morning, Guido-" She moves to sit up, but eventually doesn't. "Sorry I fell asleep on you-"

"Huh? It's okay! I don't mind." He notices the lack of movement and starts to think about it for a while. _Is she comfortable here? Does that mean she LIKES being on my chest?? Holy shit-_

"What time is it..?"

"Uh- Let me check-" Guido fishes his phone out of his pocket and looks at the time, eyes widening. "...15 minutes til noon-"

"...Shit."

_Holy shit, she curses-_ _AWESOME_! "Um- Is there somewhere you need to be? I can walk you there-"

"That'd be great, actually- Let me get ready first." She stands up and heads off to what Guido assumes to be her room, leaving Guido alone in the living room.

"I'm uh- gonna freshen up too!" He calls out, and the gentle 'ok' he hears from the distance excuses him to the bathroom. He splashes some cold water on his face and tugs at the bottom of his eye, inspecting himself in the mirror. _Lookin' good, Guido._ He figures that since he had brushed his teeth twice for good measure the other day, he can go a little while without brushing as of now. Also, he doesn't have a toothbrush with him, so he couldn't brush his teeth if he tried. He then realizes he hadn't eaten anything last night, and that a certain group of misfits have been oddly quiet all night...

"MIIIIIIIIISTAAAA-"

Shit.

Number 5 is being beat over the head with a piece of soap by Number 3 while the other 4 sit on the counter, staring at Guido with wide eyes.

"We're hungry!!!!"

"Why didn't you get any coochie last night??"

"I WANT BOLOGNA!!!!"

Guido runs his hands through his hair and sighs. "Come on, guys- Just a little longer, okay? Then I'll feed you as much sausage as you can eat, I promise- Just, keep quiet until we get back to Bucciarati and the gang, alright??"

The Sex Pistols all make noises of disapproval, but eventually disappear, leaving Guido alone in the bathroom. "Jesus Christ..."

He exits the bathroom and waits by the door for Molly. She walks past the hallway, now dressed in a dress shirt and skirt. A small red lanyard rests in between her... Nope, nope, not looking. Her eyes are further up, Guido. "You um- Look nice! Y-yeah-"

"Thanks- My shift starts in 30 minutes, so we need to get going."

"Right. You're the boss-" Guido opens the door and lets Molly walk through first, then heads down the steps to follow her to the car. "Where are we going again?"

"The museum two blocks down. Um- How are you going to get home?"

_That is a good fucking question._ "I can walk! Or I could call Fugo to pick me up or something-"

"One of your roommates, right?" She starts the engine of the car and waits for Guido to put his seatbelt on. Once she hears the click, she pulls out of the driveway and starts heading down to the museum. The car ride, as expected, is filled with lots of one-sided chatter from Guido, with Molly occasionally nodding in agreement or making tiny comments in response. Guido is ecstatic.

Molly parks in a designated spot for employees and turns to face Guido, a small smile on her lips. "Thank you again."

"Anytime, Molly." Guido can't stop his grin from growing as they exit the car. Her hand brushes against his when she leaves, making Guido melt a little once again. Even though he's watching her walk away, he can't help but feel... good. Is this what love feels like?

If it is, he's ready to finally accept it.

Her figure slowly gets smaller until he can't see her anymore, and Guido finally leans against the door of her car, cockily smirking. He sighs contently before resting his chin on his hand.

"Anytime." 


End file.
